Blah blah III.

Today, I was thinking a lot.

I got stressed out.

I raised my voice.

Then turned silent for the rest of the evening while hundreds of thoughts were running through my head.

Organizing an event is not easy.

Let alone the thought of entertaining people who will come.

Me?

Nah.

That is the very reason I did not do a celebration for my 18th birthday.

Just the thought of it stresses me out.

Up to this day, you will see where I've spent the funds I would have used for my debut.

It is in my smile. 😁

Majority of the checklist so far have already been ticked.

Even though it wasn't easy, I enjoyed picking and deciding on those because we didn't have to consider much of other people's feelings.

But this certain item on the checklist, I've been worrying and getting anxious about since Day 1.

And now that it has finally come to deciding on this, I have mixed feelings.

My mind is clouded.

I'm having a hard time deciding.

A lot of inputs are coming in.

I don't know who I should listen to.

Either I would please them all, but compromise my own happiness.

Or I would choose to be happy, but most probably cause hurt among them.

But hey self, why should you stress about it?

Why would you choose between your happiness and their happiness?

Why would you even listen to anyone or even to yourself?

You're going astray again, buddy.

You're getting lost again.

How many times have I told you, self, to listen only to Him?

With Him, nothing will go wrong.

With Him, everything will fall into its rightful places.

Even if you stress yourself out over this, it won't go as you planned or as whoever planned, but rather, it will go according to His plan.

So don't beat yourself up over this.

Just pray and lift everything up to Him.

You will see, it will get resolved accordingly.

Just as how you guys ticked those things on the checklist smoothly like it was a coincindence.

It was not.

He laid it out for you.

So just trust Him on this.

He got this.

Relax, and let Him lead the way.

It will clear your mind, and your heart, to what really matters.

"What then counts as most important?"

This is the question that got me thinking tonight as I read the Gospel reading and reflection.

"In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world." Says from the part of the Gospel today.

So let's ask ourselves again, "What then counts as most important?".

Then I realized, we are not preparing this for anyone.

This event is actually between us and Him.

The rest are icing on the cake. 🙂